Review - Clash of the Titans - 3D

Well, when I first heard that this movie was being made, I was honestly excited. I remember watching the original as a kid over and over and it brought so many memories. But honestly, from the onset, I had my reservations. Anytime a movie has been redone, updated, or "rebooted," they are taking a big chance at it actually making some sort of a dent into the box office. Most of the curious fans, like me, wanted to see how this version would compare. I had even read mixed reviews and I decided to at least give it a chance. Now, I have to pick my movies very carefully because I do not get to go as often as I like. I was very much disappointed. This review may sound very bad, but I could hold back. Sorry in advance for my rants below.

This movie was just lame. There, I said it. It was lame. I am usually a nice guy and all, but this movie just fell into the category of "Let's Remake a Classic with Update Special Effects to make a buck!"

SPOILER ALERT...

Let's start with the story. Persius, played by Sam Worthington, portrays a demi-god (half human/half god) son of a unknowing Zeus, one of the head gods who is attempting to stop Hades from totally destroying the quant village of Ares (i think). He has a few tasks he must complete, like how to make friends with three blind witches and how to tame a very badly animated Medusa before taking on the Kracken (Hade's pet sea monster). The Animation was so bad, I actually prefer the animation from the 1980's version-Yes, even claymation.

The characters were less than stellar. You only get to know a few becuase of the of how quickly they die in the movie. There were several you wish had bigger roles like Andromeda and the two comedic warriors who actually survived. Liam Neeson did a fantastic job of getting some cool Halloween outfits and make up, that's for sure. Furthermore, his line "Release the CRACKEN!" will go down as the most predictable line in all movies.

I wish they had done more with Pegasus. I mean seriously. In the old version, the animal played a much bigger role. In the few shots you see of him, you can't help but picture Falcor, from the Neverending Story franchise.

I did laugh, only once though, when the mechanical owl from the old version was pulled out of a trunk, for not apparent reason other than to satisfy old fans like myself. I think I even said outloud, "Well, that scene was totally useless."

Again, if you read this far, you wont mind this major spoiler alert. The Kracken was too easy to defeat. Come ON Persius!!! Use your sword a little!

I know I am ranting, but the people who made this tried to make this a movie blockbuster and failed miserably. Here is a good idea for a movie: Have the Kracken from the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise battle the Kracken from Clash of the Titans.

Oh yeah, if you think i forgot to mention 3-D. Well, it did not help it out all.
It was still L-A-M-E. This movie may take the box office #1, but I am sure How to Train Your Dragon - 3d will take over after a week.

Here is my final verdict in reverse order:
The Ugly - poor story, predictable, and no thought whatsover to how
The Bad - "Release the CRACKEN!"
The Good - I have another pair of 3-D glasses for sale...$13.50.

FX IT!!!!

It would be good if you had absolutely nothing else to do...Tivo it and watch it after you catch up on your episodes of Alf.

UPDATE: I thought FX was the lowest rating, but I was wrong.
NEW RATING: STAND OUTSIDE YOUR THEATER AND WARN EVERYONE!